I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
