Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
