I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm always down for nudity.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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