he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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