she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
