Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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