wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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