i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
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