His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
