To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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