Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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