look no pants
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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