On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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