Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
