is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
