Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
