Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize