Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm too high and old for this...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
