Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
