He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
