i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize