I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
