I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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