bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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