I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
