2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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