Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
