I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
me + whiskey = a bad person
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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