dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize