If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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