And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
