i think my mom watched the whole time
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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