these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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