I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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