Welp...herpes.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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