Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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