Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
