I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize