you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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