dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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