what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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