So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
What a dumb baby whore.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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