I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just googled if crying burns calories
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
