Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
