what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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