Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
