She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So many bounce houses so little time
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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