Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
