Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
