This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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