He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
