I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize