bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
