he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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