Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
