Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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