I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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