So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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