Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
