porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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