It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
