just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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