**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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