I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
