You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
