can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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