Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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