If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
