id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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